Kindred Hearts
by Gaelcelt
Summary: Thomas Barrow/Original Male Character. Thomas, upon returning to Downton as Carson's assistant butler, finds that life is looking up for him in more ways than he bargained for. The new chauffeur, Joseph Anderson, captures his attention and, Thomas soon finds, his infatuation might not be one-sided. Sybil Lives. Minor Tom/Sybil, Bertie/Edith


I own none of these characters.

Thomas Barrow/Original Male Character. Thomas, upon returning to Downton as Carson's assistant butler, finds that life is looking up for him in more ways than he bargained for. The new chauffeur, Joseph Anderson, captures his attention and, Thomas soon finds, his infatuation might not be one-sided. Minor Tom/Sybil, Bertie/Edith.

Joseph Anderson is based loosely on a friend who absolutely enchants me. He's handsome, sweet, bright, funny, compassionate... and I never took the chance to tell him how I felt before I found out recently that he's been courting somebody else. I'm trying to be logical and remember that his boyfriend is a closer match to him and his kids adore the boyfriend... but it hurts.

And while I've been dreaming of happily-ever-after for Thomas, I also want to see Sybil alive, well, and still beside Tom and their kids.

Kindred Hearts

"Thomas Barrow, I'd like to introduce you to the new chauffeur, Joseph Anderson," Mrs. Hughes murmured as Thomas beheld the young man standing before him. Once again, Thomas found himself thoroughly smitten. He appeared about thirty years of age, or at least in his late twenties, slightly shorter than Thomas. His handsome, boyish face somehow had a very virile aura, with a slight olive complexion. His earnest hazel eyes, his dark chestnut hair, his kind smile, and his jovial aura captivated Thomas instantly.

"I'm pleased to meet you, Mr. Barrow," Anderson warmly extended a hand, "I've heard your name a few times since I've arrived here."

"You have?" Thomas looked surprised as they shook hands, "I hope that mentions of me have been favourable."

"They have, Thomas, " Mrs. Hughes remarked warmly, "I was rather hoping that you'd return, since you seem to have mended your ways."

"And apparently a number of his Lordship's family is happy for your return also," Anderson added, "Mr. and Mrs. Branson and their children, especially so, and Master George has told me of how excited he is for your return."

"Lady Sybil has always been kind to me," Thomas smiled, blushing slightly, "And I'm frankly delighted to see the children again."

"And imagine my surprise when I learned that Mr. Branson had my job before the war!" Anderson chuckled, his rich baritone voice sounded like golden honey and sounded even more musical to Thomas when he laughed.

"Thomas!" The Crawley grandchildren exclaimed excitedly as they ran toward him. George Crawley and Sybbie Branson reached him first, throwing their arms around his legs before Sean Branson and Marigold Crawley caught up.

"Hello, my little ruffians!" Thomas smiled broadly as he swept downward to return the embrace, "I've missed all of you!"

"Did you miss me the most?" George piped up. Thomas chuckled, "Would that be fair to your cousins, Master George?"

"I think not," Sybbie remarked, making Thomas laugh in amused surprise, "You always were a sharp one, Miss Sybil!"

"Thomas, I'm glad to see that you've returned!" Sybil was on the heels of her children as she carried her newest child, Brigid, and Tom followed close behind. Both of them smiled welcomingly.

"Mrs. Branson, it's always a pleasure to see you," Thomas rose to standing, catching glimpses of Edith and Mary trailing their sister and brother-in-law, with Mary slowed a bit at seven months with child.

Thomas was overwhelmed by the welcome that he received. He had to admit that he missed his co-workers and the Crawley family, but considering how he had behaved for years he was still astonished that they would be as forgiving as this. He still wasn't sure that he really deserved it.

"I'm terribly pleased that you've returned, Thomas," Mary gushed, "Not just because you've agreed to help Carson, but I realize that I've missed you as much as George has."

"And I'm pleased to see you looking so happy," Edith added as she scooped up Marigold, unconsciously running her hand over her newly pregnant belly, "I was worried about you when you left."

"And Mr. Anderson has brought his children over to play many times," Sybbie piped up.

"His children"? Thomas wasn't sure if he'd heard correctly, "You have children, Anderson?"

"A son, Lewis, and a daughter, Frances," Anderson beamed, "I was relieved that Lord Crawley wasn't opposed to letting them into the nursery when I work. Thankfully, they're all the same age. It's been difficult since Ellen died."

"Wait, what-?" Thomas knew that he shouldn't presume, that he had to be cautious about men that he fancied, but he couldn't help but feel disappointed. He fancied a handsome widower with young children, a widower who probably wouldn't return the attraction.

"Shall I fetch them, Anderson, since all the children are here now?" Tom offered, "As one chauffer to another!" He added wryly.

Anderson nodded as he returned the smile, "I'd like that, Mr. Branson, thank you! They might as well meet this Mr. Barrow that their playmates are always going on about."

A few minutes of conversation passed before Tom returned with two children in tow, a boy of about five years with dark brown hair and grey eyes, and a girl of about three years with cinnamon curls and hazel eyes. They looked a bit shy and confused but their faces lit up as soon as they saw Anderson.

"Hello, lovelies!" Anderson broke into a wide smile as he squatted with open arms, having to steady himself as they ran into his embrace.

"We missed you, Daddy," Frances spoke first. Thomas could hear a world of energy in her voice, seeming active even in one little gesture and phrase.  
"I've missed you too, poppet," Anderson crooned to his daughter, "Lewis, Frances, I'd like you to meet Thomas Barrow, the assistant butler. He's the one that Sybbie and George are always talking about."

Thomas blushed slightly at the last comment, but he smiled and knelt as the children looked toward him,  
"Hello Frances, Lewis, I'm pleased to meet both of you. What do you think of Downton Abbey?"

"I like it here," Frances squeaked eagerly, "Everyone's so nice to us and we get to play in the nursery when Daddy's working and Marigold and Sybbie are my best friends!"

Thomas couldn't help but smile; she had a spirit about her. Lewis smiled shyly. Thomas could tell that he was more reserved, but his small voice answered, "It's so nice here, and we're not all by ourselves when Daddy has to work because they let us play in the nursery. Everybody's been so kind to us."

"By yourselves?" Thomas asked, although he could sense what the answer would be.

"Since Mummy died and Dad can't be with us all day because he has to work," Lewis' eyes were watery, "And now we live too far from granny or our aunts and uncles."

Lewis suddenly made Thomas think of himself at that age. Alone with a mother who was too busy with eleven children to have much extra room for affection and a father who frightened him with a violence that he seemed to direct mainly at Thomas.

"I just heard about it, Lewis," Thomas knelt before the boy who reminded him of himself as a child, "I'm so sorry. That must be so difficult."  
Lewis nodded silently, trying to keep himself calm. Frances seemed to sense this and hugged her brother.

Sensing that they were interrupting everybody at their work, the Crawley sisters summoned their children.  
"You'd best come along, poppets," Sybil gently chided, "I imagine that everybody has work to do."

"Bye, Thomas," George gave Thomas a quick hug as he followed Mary's instruction. Thomas smiled, "I'll be along later, Master George."

Turning back to the Anderson children, who had been beckoned by their playmates to follow, Thomas felt a well of affection opening within him, "I have to return to work now, but it was wonderful to meet you, Miss Frances, Master Lewis! I hope to see more of you."

Frances eagerly embraced Thomas, "It was nice to meet you, Mr. Barrow!" she squeaked. Thomas chuckled as he returned the hug, glancing up to see Lewis standing timidly behind her, "I'm glad to meet you too, Mr. Barrow." Thomas intuitively reached out and fluffed Lewis's hair, smiling, "I'm glad to meet both of you, and your father. I hope that you'll be here for some time."

Thomas was delighted, hardly daring to believe that his fortunes had changed so much since that terrible night when he'd tried to end it all. But it was not just this "welcome home" that made his day worthwhile. There was something about the new chauffeur that attracted Thomas, even if Anderson was a widowed father.

"From what little I've seen of your children, Mr. Anderson, I like them already," Thomas remarked toward the new chauffeur.

"Thank you, Thomas," Anderson replied, "Please, call me Joe. I hope that we'll be friends."

Thomas felt himself blush, "I hope for that too, Joe".

"Thomas, it's not time for chatter," Carson grumbled as he limped into the room, "If you would help me polish the silver for tonight, that would be most appreciated."

It still unnerved Thomas to see Carson losing his ability to control his own movements, "I'll be right there, Mr. Carson!"

Weeks passed and Thomas found himself chatting with Joe whenever they could spare a moment. They regaled each other with tales about their hometowns and their histories and Thomas couldn't help but be intrigued.  
Joe had come from a small farming town near Scarborough and had a great affiliation for animals. He joked about his rustic background and regaled Thomas about the dogs that had been his constant companions since he was a boy.

"Mae was the best friend that you could ask for," Joe looked nostalgic as he described his border collie, who had been with him from the ages of five to eighteen.

"I never had many pets," Thomas said with a hint of regret, "It would have been welcome company for me. My parents were not the warmest people that you could know. For them, an animal either killed vermin or scared intruders, or was food, or was simply a nuisance. My brothers and sisters and myself hardly fared better, but my father was the hardest on me."

Joe's sympathetic expression would have turned Thomas' stomach a few years ago, but now he felt butterflies in his stomach. It was a sudden realization that it was all right to receive compassion. And from Joe… Thomas couldn't help it, but he had fallen in love with the man. He silently scolded himself for letting his heart get the better of him again, but he couldn't help it.

One night would change their friendship forever.

Thomas had gone over to Joe's cottage one evening to chat and they'd spent about an hour playing with Lewis and Frances, who were eager for Thomas' visit. As their dad ushered them off to bed and Thomas said his goodnights as well, both men returned to the sitting room. It delighted Thomas, and especially in watching how good that Joe was to them. And Joe was out of uniform, wearing his vest and dress shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbow, revealing beautifully muscled forearms. The ensuing conversation drifted from Lewis beginning school in September to the matter of how Joe was managing raising two children and working at the same time.

"I'm sorry about the wife, Joe," Thomas said, genuinely upset that the chauffeur had been widowed, "It must be difficult, especially with two little ones."

Joe smiled wistfully, "It is. It's been about a year since Ellen died."

"How did she die?" Thomas blurted before he realized what he'd said, "Oh goodness, I'm sorry Joe! I didn't mean to pry-!"

"It's all right," Joe smiled sympathetically, despite watery eyes, "She was carrying our third child and she suddenly suffered from fits… it was eclampsia, the doctor said…"

"Oh dear…! I'm so sorry about that!" Thomas felt the butterflies in his stomach even more strongly. His heart was breaking for this man, even if he was almost sure that Joe wouldn't feel the same way about him.

"Mrs. Branson has told me that she had nearly developed the same ailment when she was carrying her eldest. She and Mr. Branson have been so kind to me about it and I appreciate them for it."

"I know. I was so relieved that the doctors saved her…" Thomas added, remembering those two weeks, "She has always been kind to me. For most of my life, few people have been kind to me, and she is one of the few."

Thomas hadn't realized that he'd said it until Joe asked, looking puzzled, "Why would anybody have been unkind to you? I remember all your anecdotes to your childhood at the hands of your father, but since I've met you I can't imagine why anybody would treat you badly."

Thomas sighed, afraid to address that subject but feeling that he owed Joe the truth, "Most of my life, people have pushed me around because I'm different… my father was no exception, as he made clear by his regular beatings and curses…"

Joe's confused expression melted away to compassion, "But why would they do that? How are you different?"

Thomas paused, unsure of how to proceed, trying to enter this subject as delicately as possible, "Did anybody tell you about the circumstances of my departure from here?"

"Ms. Baxter and Mr. Parker told me that you'd tried to kill yourself, that you were in a bad way."

"Yes, that's true…" Thomas hesitated. A moment passed before he suddenly felt Joe gently squeeze his good hand.

"I've thought about killing myself a number of times too, Thomas," Joe's eyes were glassy, "Even when I was married, I felt that despair."

"You felt like that, also?" Thomas gasped, "I've thought about it myself, but have never attempted it until that recent incident… did you say that you also felt like that when you were married?"

"I loved Ellen. We grew up together, we were friends, but I never felt a passion for her that a husband should feel for his wife."

Thomas listened more intently, intrigued. He tried to keep his hopes in check; there could have been any number of reasons for Joe to feel like that.

"You didn't want to marry her?" Thomas asked inquisitively.

"I wanted to marry her. She was my friend, she was funny, she was beautiful, quick-witted, and her parents and my parents thought that it was a good match. But in the five years that we were married, I never felt the passion or desire that I presumed would come with marriage."

"Did you love somebody else, then?" Thomas asked, "You don't have to answer that if you don't want to…"

"Yes, I loved another friend. I loved somebody with a passion and a desire that I was sure could never be returned."

Thomas gingerly took both of Joe's hands, "I have had my heart broken more times than I wish to remember. One of them was a friend who'd been blinded. Committed suicide before I could ever tell him how I felt…"

Thomas froze. He'd blurted his secret. In silent horror, he desperately wondered how he would redeem himself for Joe.

"I was in love with a neighbor boy," Joe said before Thomas could say anything more, "He was the most beautiful sight for a farm boy like me. I desperately hoped that he would look at me the same way that he looked at the young women in the village. But he married a local girl before he left for the war… his family told me that he'd died just two weeks before the Armistice."

Both of them were gaping at each other now. Neither could believe that they'd confessed to the love that dared not speak its name. Was it fate that had brought them together?

It was Joe who broke the silence, "Your friend was blinded in the war, wasn't he?"

Thomas nodded, his lip beginning to tremble as his eyes went glassy, "I never told Edward how I was different from others… he was going to be transferred to a rehabilitation centre since space was needed in the hospital and he'd improved… he slashed his wrists…!"

He felt Joe suddenly embrace him, hands stroking his back, "I'm so sorry about Edward, Thomas…! It's such a relief to talk about all that I've been struggling with…!"

Thomas just as quickly found himself returning the embrace, "Even before that, I was terrified when I first entered Downton. Terrified that the other servants would see me as a weakling, would sense my secret. I ended up becoming a bully to protect myself. It was so natural to me after everything that my father did to me. I was horrible to William, a footman who died in the war and one one of the sweetest people that you could ever meet. I antagonized Mr. Bates for reasons that I find so incredibly petty now. And all because he became a valet as soon as he arrived because he was a comrade of Lord Grantham in the Boer War while I had been working as a hall boy and a footman for years…!  
"I was also in love with Jimmy Kent. He was footman who I found impossibly beautiful, but I almost ended in gaol after he woke to me kissing him on the lips. But after I saved him from a gang of hooligans who tried to rob and beat him, he came around. He was a good friend, but I never quite recovered from my disappointment. He's been sacked, unfortunately. He was one of very few friends that I've had. And most recently, I'd fallen in love with Andy Parker. He's with Daisy, but he's still a friend…!"

They found themselves crying together. Partly as the pain that they were forced to hide was released, partly from relief that they had both found somebody who understood that anguish of living a secret life, that neither was alone.

"What was his name? The boy you loved." Thomas gasped.

"William Thwaites…" Joe gasped between sobs.

"It hurts so much, the endless rejection, the hope that you've found happiness and then it crumbles before your eyes…!" Thomas sobbed into Joe's shoulder.

"I know..." Joe sniffed, "I know…!"

"Dad…?"

Both men looked in the direction of the tiny voice. In the dim light, they saw Lewis watching them with tired curiosity.

"What is it, Lewis?" Joe hastily swiped at his face as he left the embrace and knelt before his son.

"I couldn't sleep and I heard you and Mr. Barrow. Is everything all right?" Lewis's big grey eyes seemed to widen with a worry that something was wrong, "Why're you crying?"

"Everything's all right, son," Joe scooped him into his arms, "Everything's all right. Mr. Barrow and I just found that we have a lot more in common with each other than we thought. It feels good to talk to somebody who understands what you feel."

"How do you mean?" Lewis looked confused.

"It's nothing that you have to worry about, poppet," Joe reassured as Thomas came to stand beside them.

"Your dad just means that he and I have a lot to talk about, since we have both suffered similar problems. That's all," Thomas fluffed Lewis's hair.

"Hmm…?"

"Thomas and I have both lost somebody that we cared about very much," Joe clarified for his son.

"Like Mummy…?"

"Yes, poppet," Joe murmured as he squeezed Lewis, "Like Mummy."

Thomas half-embraced Joe as he stroked Lewis' back, "But we're all right. You have nothing to worry about. You'd best get some sleep, Lewis. You don't want to be late to the nursery in the morning."

Lewis smiled against his father's shoulder and nodded off quickly.

After carefully returning Lewis to his bed and making sure that Frances slept soundly in her bed, Joe and Thomas closed the children's bedroom door and crept back to the sitting room.

"I…I just don't know what to say, Thomas…!" Joe murmured as he swiped at his eyes, "I feel so incredibly lucky…!"

Thomas smiled as he sat beside Joe and stroked his back, "So do I, Joe. I'm so glad that I've met you."

"I'm glad that I've met you, Thomas!" Joe's voice was soft as he wept joyously, "I never would have thought that I'd meet somebody who understands how this feels, this secret… this 'love that dare not speak its name'!"

"I found you so incredibly handsome from the first moment that I saw you~!" Thomas crooned, "And your children are nothing but a delight. You've captivated me, not just with your beauty but also with your dear heart, your wit, your dreams, your pain… I don't know if you feel the same way about me, Joe, but I love you. I've fallen hard in love with you… but if you don't feel that way about me, I'm contented just to be your friend."

"Thomas…!" Joe squeezed Thomas' hand, "I thought that you were stunningly handsome when I finally met you, and since I've seen how good that you are with Lewis and Cissy and with the Crawley children… and learning tonight some of what you've endured in your time at Downton Abbey… I've seen none of the bad behavior that you say that you've exhibited. You say that you're not a good person, but you have been nothing but wonderful to my children and to me… I've been afraid to admit to myself that I'm in love with you…and now that you've said that you're in love with me… I-I don't know what to say…!"

"Joe…!" Thomas murmured.

Slowly, nervously, they brought their faces close to each other, brows resting against each other, anxiously brushing their lips together in a gentle kiss. Thomas' full lips had been a dream for Joe, and Joe's disarming smile and sumptuous lips were likewise a fantasy for Thomas.

For Joe, the faint kiss was like throwing petrol onto smouldering embers. He felt almost uncomfortably stiff, but he didn't want it to stop. Eagerly, their lips reconnected in a series of kisses that quickly became more passionate and fervent than either had ever remembered.

Parting to breathe, both men were struck dumb as Joe collapsed against Thomas' broad chest, both of them embracing like they were afraid that it was just a dream. They never realized just how meaningful that a kiss could be.  
Joe knew that he was attracted to other men, that a kiss from another man would be a more intense delight for him, but he was stunned at how euphoric that he felt. Thomas' kisses thrilled him in a way that he had never felt before.  
Thomas was intensely excited by Joe's kiss. But now he felt a more primal urge. He didn't want to simply enjoy this man's body; he wanted to take Joe in his arms and protect him. He wanted to love him and make love to him. Hell, he already loved him so much that it hurt…!

"Thomas…! Nobody's ever made me feel like this! I can't quite believe…!" Thomas could tell that he was close to tears.  
"Shhh, don't cry darling…!"  
"I never thought that I'd be so happy," Joe sobbed quietly into Thomas' chest, "I never want this to end!"  
"Neither do I," Thomas felt tears stinging his eyes as his heart felt like it would burst, "I don't know where we go from here, Joe, but I love you. I love you like I've never loved anybody…!"

"Thomas… my love! You're my champion…!"

"Daddy? Mr. Barrow?"

Thomas' eyes quickly flew open. It was still dim with the early morning. Thomas suddenly remembered: he and Joe had fallen asleep on the sofa, holding each other! He felt Joe stir on top of him, also suddenly awakened. They found themselves looking at Frances in her nightgown, and she wore an expression that combined worry and confusion as she stared at them. Lewis was soon behind her, wearing an identical expression.

"Why didn't you go to bed?" Frances broke the silence.

Joe chuckled, "We stayed up later than we should have and we were too tired to walk to bed."

Thomas smiled and chimed in, "My bedroom is quite a walk from here, Cissy. We just had a lot to talk about."

"Really?" Lewis asked, slightly skeptical.

Joe smiled at his son, "You have fallen asleep anyplace, yourselves. The reason that you wake up in your own beds is because I carry you there. It's not that different once you've grown up."

Lewis nodded, seeming to accept their alibi, while Frances piped up, "I was hungry for breakfast and I didn't know if you'd be awake yet, then I found you on the sofa."  
"We didn't mean to wake you if you're still tired," Lewis added.

The weight that both men felt on their shoulders was lifted and they covertly sighed in relief. They both knew that they would have to discuss this with the kids, but for now they were relieved that Frances and Lewis seemed unfazed by the sight of their father and their father's friend and co-worker sleeping cuddled together on the sofa.

"It's all right," Joe reassured them, "It's probably for the best that you woke us."  
"And it's about time that I should rise," Thomas added, "I'll be needed in the House… and I'll have to iron my suit before I go upstairs. That probably goes for you too, Joe."

Rolling his eyes in amused exasperation, Joe nodded in silent agreement. Their clothes were a rumpled mess. It would not look at all professional.

Still, they bustled about to prepare an early breakfast. Joe fried eggs and bacon while Thomas toasted bread and sliced fruit. Frances and Lewis quickly made their beds and dressed before returning to the kitchen, where they found their father and their father's friend preparing breakfast for four people.

"It's almost like Mum was still here," Lewis told Frances, smiling wistfully.

Joe and Thomas pretended that they hadn't heard, but they both blushed, the feeling of butterflies in their stomachs returning. The night before had seen them cuddling and whispering sweet nothings to each other, but for Thomas it was a delight that he had never felt before. And Joe was as intoxicated by the affection as Thomas was.  
As they sat down to breakfast, Thomas couldn't help but feel warm and fluffy inside. Sitting down to breakfast with two children that he'd quickly come to love and their father, whom he now loved like he'd never loved any man. As leisurely as time would allow, they enjoyed their meal and chatted about what they would be doing that day and Joe and Thomas had a slightly serious discussion about what the children had seen that morning and told them that it was important that nobody knew about what they had seen.

"Daddy could lose his job and we'd have to leave Downton," Joe warned, "I might even lose custody of both of you if anybody knew about what you saw. And I just can't bear the thought of either of you being taken away from me."

"We don't mean to scare you, poppets," Thomas added gently, "But it's very important for all four of us that this remains a secret."

"What if somebody asks how you're part of the family?" Lewis asked.

"Just tell them that I'm a cousin. Nobody has to know any more than that."

"All right," Frances shrugged and went back to eating her plum.

Breakfast quickly returned to its animated warmth before Thomas rose to leave. "Lord and Lady Grantham will be awakening soon. I'll see you in the House, lovelies," he added as he pecked Frances and Lewis on the check before he headed to the door, exchanging a knowing smile with Joe.

Neither man knew how they would be able to stay focused that day after the night that they just experienced. Remembering his wrinkled uniform, Thomas rushed to the house to change into his spare uniform; the ironing would have to wait.  
Somehow, Joe and Thomas managed to work that day, despite themselves, without drawing any unwanted attention. It wasn't easy, especially when Thomas was helping Carson with his duties.

"Why the silly grin, Thomas? Have you been into some sort of mischief?"

Thomas had shaken his head, "No, I'm just in a good humour today. I hope that it's not bothering you, Carson."

"Not at all, I was more curious than anything else."

Joe and Thomas were so enthralled that they wanted to climb to the roof and yell to the heavens, to publicly declare their love for each other. But the realities of life still helped them to sober themselves.

"Are you sure that you want to do this, Joe? I know that I want to, but are you sure that you're ready to go through with this?" Thomas caressed Joe's cheek before letting his hand play through Joe's short, straight hair.

Joe's eyes pupils were dilated from the dim light and his own desire as he gazed deep into Thomas' grey-blue eyes, "I've wanted to do this since we first kissed, Thomas. And I… I haven't been intimate with anybody in a long time!"

"I haven't either, darling…!" Thomas concurred, "If you're sure of this…"

"I'm sure," Joe said, his expression confident.

Passionate kisses excited them all the more as they fumbled with each other's waistcoats, their dress shirts, their ties…

"You really are a farm boy if you are this muscular…!" Thomas gasped between kisses as they found themselves in their undershirts, discarding their suspenders. Joe giggled into the kiss, "You noticed, haven't you?"

It was Thomas' turn to giggle as they kissed, "You're as handsome as a lion, how could I not notice your build?"

Fumbling with their trousers and socks and eagerly wriggling out of them, the new couple drank in the sight of each other, stripped down to their underwear, their collars unbuttoned and showing a triangle of the hair and sweaty skin of their pale chests, the the outlines of their nakedness just visible under the translucent fabric. Joe wanted to savour the sight of Thomas like this, before the last of the wrapping was removed from this precious gift that life had given to him, this man who made his heart sing.  
Thomas likewise wanted to savour the sight of Joe before the last barrier between their skins was removed. He could see under the clinging fabric the tight muscles of Joe's arms, shoulders, chest, and belly, the buds of his chest taut. A part of Thomas' mind still thought that he didn't deserve this wonderful man who made him so happy. But the look of awe on Joe's face made him weak in the knees.

"You're so beautiful, Thomas…!" Joe murmured.  
Thomas blushed, smiling broadly, "You're beautiful, Joe…! I've never met a man who is as beautiful inside as outside…!"  
They both sniggered and blushed. They could see how eager that they were for each other through the thin fabric of their last article of clothing; their erections strained against the thin material, already wet with pre-come.

The fresh air was cool and sweet to their naked skin as they doffed the last of their clothes. The sight of Thomas naked just for him took Joe's breath away; he was more muscular than he thought that he'd be, his chest dusted with black hair, his rosy nipples as taut with desire as his soldier standing stiff in the blossom of his loins.  
Thomas gaped in wonder at Joe's naked form. He was so beautiful… his pectoral muscles were voluptuous under a layer of dark brown hair, his nubs red and peaked with arousal. His pale, muscular thighs met in the nest of his virility... Joe was as stiff as he had ever seen a man.

The sensation of virile skin on virile skin made Joe gasp. "Darling, are you all right?" Thomas whispered, worried that this was too much too soon.  
"Yes, my love, I am," Joe reassured, "I've wanted this for the longest time…" he murmured into Thomas's shoulder, breathing deeply, "You smell so sweet…!"  
Thomas smiled as he inhaled at the curve of Joe's neck, "You could put the finest perfumes to shame, my beloved Joseph. You smell sweeter than nectar."  
Joe chuckled as he drew Thomas in for a deep, hearty kiss, both of them running their hands through each other's hair, down their naked backs, playfully squeezing voluminous buttocks, with their turgid cocks kissing just as eagerly as they were. It nearly made Joe release.

"Bed?"Thomas inquired. Joe nodded as they settled onto Joe's bed as quietly as possible to avoid wakening the children.  
"I don't know where to go from here, Thomas…!" Joe said apprehensively, looking a bit ashamed.  
Thomas kissed him on the cheek, "You'll learn. I'll teach you. I can show you now, if you want."  
Joe nodded, his apprehension melting away.

Thomas kissed his way from Joe's eyes to his cheeks, to his lips, over his chin and over his throat to the crook of his neck. Joe tried to keep from losing control of himself as Thomas kissed down the hillocks of his chest and kissed and gently sucked Joe's taut nipples. Joe gasped heavily, hardly daring to believe how good that it felt.  
"You like that, don't you?" Thomas smiled up at him slyly. Joe chuckled, music to Thomas' ears as Thomas returned his attention to the ruddy nubs and continued down to Joe's navel, earning another gasp.

Cupping and caressing Joe's bottom, Thomas began kissing his way down Joe's right thigh, stroking the other. Joe writhed in tortured delight as Thomas began kissing his way up the inside of the same thigh, finally reaching his taut sack and eager stones.

Thomas was overwhelmed by Joe's virile musk, hardly daring to believe that a man as beautiful and sweet as Joe was sharing his body with him. Breathing deeply, he moved in to kiss Joe's waiting sack. Joe gasped, almost spasming in pleasure. Thomas kissed and licked his way from his lover's bollocks toward the tip of Joe's straining cock.  
"Thomas, I'm going to-!" Joe gasped.  
Thomas pursed his lips and slid his mouth onto Joe's length, tickling the foreskin as he went. No sooner than halfway down, he felt Joe lift his hips and could taste the spurts of his lover's orgasm.  
Joe swore that he saw stars as he pushed the back of his head into the pillow, arching his back as he felt waves of ecstasy crashing inside him and over him, all of them rushing toward their exit by means of a very small portal.  
Thomas kissed Joe's dark pubic hair and his heaving belly as Joe lie gasping and boneless.  
"Thomas…! Thomas, my love…!" his voice came out strangled and weak.  
Lying close beside Joe, Thomas tenderly kissed his brow, "I'm here, darling."  
Gingerly turning his head toward Thomas' voice, Joe saw Thomas' face a mixture of anxiety and ineffable tenderness.  
"It wasn't a dream, was it?" Joe murmured. Thomas smiled and leaned in to kiss him on the lips, "It's not a dream, dearest."  
Joe slowly pushed himself to sitting and urged Thomas to lie on his back, "It's your turn now, love."

"You don't have to," Thomas stroked Joe's face.  
"I want to," Joe kissed Thomas' hand, "You amazed me! I want you to enjoy yourself, too."

Thomas was speechless. Somebody was concerned about his happiness? He managed a smile and a nod and he settled back onto the bed.

Joe was a bit clumsier, but his passion was intoxicating. He covered Thomas' face and throat with kisses before kissing his way down his chest.  
To Thomas' surprise, he felt Joe kissing the skin over his breastbone, under which his heart was pounding. Joe was tempting to kiss his heart? Thomas felt tears in his eyes and he wrapped his arms around Joe, cradling his head to his chest.  
Joe listened to the steady beating of Thomas' heart and he smiled, feeling Thomas stroke his hair.  
"You say that you're not a good person, Thomas. I don't believe a word of it. Not when you've been so good to me, so good to Lewis and Cissy… you're a miracle in my life…!"  
Thomas hugged Joe a bit tighter, still unaccustomed to complements and affection.

Joe's kisses to Thomas' nipples reawakened Thomas' desire. Joe kissed and caressed him with only the fervour that a novice would show and it enthralled him.

Kissing down Thomas' belly and to his thighs, Joe found himself face-to-face with his lover's arousal. As tempted as he was, Joe decided to pleasure Thomas' thighs first.  
Thomas gasped with a fervour that he had not felt in the longest time. Another man was pleasuring him instead of the inverse. Now he wondered if he was dreaming. He drew a sharp gasp as Joe kissed the sack of his bollocks, kissing and licking him like no man ever had.

Joe ran his fingertips up and down Thomas' shaft, gently tugging at the foreskin, making the man he loved writhe. Kissing the delicate, silken skin, Joe heard Thomas gasp, "I'm close to it-!"

Sliding his lips over the head of Thomas' standing soldier, pushing the foreskin downward, Joe hardly had time to prepare himself when Thomas thrust his hips from the bed, his orgasm released.

Thomas was ecstatic, his eyes watering as he gasped Joe's name, as a torrent of euphoric pleasure fought to escape from his body. Again, he swore that this had to be a dream.

Joe was amazed. Not only had Thomas made him orgasm, but now he had made Thomas orgasm. It excited him that he was the cause of this handsome man's ecstasy. He looked so vulnerable, somehow, and it endeared him to Joe even more.

"Thomas," Joe's voice sounded anxious, "Are you all right, my champion?"

Thomas turned his head in the direction of that beautiful voice to see Joe beside him, eyes glassy with worry.  
"It wasn't a dream, darling?"  
Joe's worry crumbled as he smiled fondly at Thomas, "It isn't. It's a dream come true if it is a dream."

They both snickered as they shared a gentle, sensuous kiss as they recovered from their ecstatic evening. It was indeed a dream come true. They eagerly cuddled, both of them delighted at the sensation of naked skin on naked skin, feeling intense comfort as they held each other.

"Joe, my darling, you're probably the first man who I've known who has been so selfless in bed… thinking of someone else's pleasure before your own…! You're amazing…!" Thomas gasped as he found himself weeping tears of joy against Joe's neck, "You're an angel…!"

Smiling as he felt his own eyes brimming, Joe gently raised Thomas' face to his own, "You're an angel to me, Thomas. You've been so wonderful to not just me but to my children…!"  
Thomas kissed Joe's tears before Joe returned the gesture, both of them silently laughing and crying for pure joy.

It was early in the morning when they awoke. Thomas smiled as his eyes opened to find his face cradled against Joe's chest, feeling himself rising and falling with each breath, feeling strong arms wrapped around him. Joe awoke a moment later, smiling as he placed a kiss in Thomas' mussed raven hair, squeezing him before stroking the taller man's back and fluffing his hair.  
Thomas turned his head upward to face Joe. They couldn't help the silly smiles and the delirious joy in their eyes.  
"Good morning, my love," Joe crooned as Thomas moved in for a hearty good morning kiss.  
"Good morning, darling," Thomas murmured as Joe chuckled at the sudden caress, a low rumble that sent a delighted shiver through Thomas, making him want to laugh.

"I'm used to sleeping by myself. Do I feel stiff…!" Thomas moaned  
"So do I," teased Joe, "Especially since I'm sleeping with a beauty like you!"  
Both of them chuckled at the double entendre, but they appreciated Thomas' intended meaning.  
"I might be a bit sore for moving so little last night, but I wouldn't change this for anything!" Thomas practically purred.  
"I don't care if duty calls, I'd gladly spend the whole day here with you, Thomas," Joe said languidly as they lingered a bit longer in bed.  
Curled together naked in a warm bed in the dim morning light, the soft sheets caressing naked limbs, they remembering their night of passion, it seemed too good to leave. But the children would be awake soon.

As they cautiously rose from the bed and began to dress, a small rap at the door caught their attention.

"Yes? Is that you, poppets?" Joe answered, nervously dressing as quickly as he could.

"Daddy? Are you all right? The door's locked," Lewis' voice answered as Frances added, "Thomas left his coat here too, Daddy. Is he still here?

They two men shot each other a panicked look, wondering how they'd address this.

"I'm all right, darlings. I'll be right out," Joe quickly answered as he fastened his trousers and placed his suspenders and Thomas almost had fastened the last button of his undershirt.

"All right…" Frances' voice was nonchalant.

Joe threw his waistcoat on as Thomas began to button his shirt, both of them wondering how they would address this.

They dressed in record time and unlocked the bedroom door as quickly but as casually as possible. They'd barely entered the sitting room when Frances and Lewis looked up and saw them.

"Thomas? I didn't know you'd spent the night," Frances looked as confused as she was pleasantly surprised.

"Is everything all right?" Lewis asked again, looking as confused as his sister.  
Thomas couldn't help but smile, "Of course everything's all right. Your dad and I just wanted some privacy, that's all."

Joe shot him a stricken look, but the children didn't seem fazed.

Regaining his bearings, Joe knelt before his children, preparing to bite the bullet. They'd find out sooner or later.

"I just want you to hear it from me that Thomas and I have rather fallen in love with each other."

Thomas braced himself, unsure of how they'd react.

"Like you were with Mummy?" Lewis seemed a bit apprehensive.

"Yes," Joe kept himself as collected as he could despite his nerves, "Like I loved Mummy."

"But what about Mummy?" Frances inquired. "Is he trying to replace Mummy?" Lewis chimed in.

"No, not at all," Thomas swept in beside Joe.

"Nobody could ever replace your mum, ever," Joe reassured.

"But what's going to happen to us?" Frances was visibly upset.

"All that will happen is that Thomas is going to be at our house a lot more. That's all that's going to change."

"Really?" Lewis looked glassy-eyed into his father's eyes. Feeling tears sting his own eyes, Joe pulled his children close.  
"Of course that's all that's going to happen, poppets. I know that you miss Mummy. I miss her, too. But she wouldn't want you to be sad, she wouldn't want any of us to be sad. She loved us too much for that."

"I don't want to replace your mum at all, poppets," Thomas added, hoping to reassure them, "Nobody could ever take her place. I know that I'm not your mother, but I also know that I love both of you. I love you and your dad like I've never loved anybody."

"You do?" Lewis' face was red and tear-streaked. "Of course I do, Lewis…!" Thomas gently wiped the boy's cheek, "Lewis, you and your sister and your dad are probably the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Lewis left Joe's embrace and moved to hug Thomas, who returned the gesture.

Thomas helped Joe prepare breakfast for themselves and for the children while Lewis and Frances dressed and made their beds, then they sat down to their first breakfast as a family.

"Thomas, what will we call you from now on?" Frances asked.

Thomas smiled and fluffed her curls, "You can still can me by my name, if you want. As long as it's not insulting, Cissy, you can call me almost anything that you want."

The children giggled while Joe sniggered.

The animated breakfast scene was idyllic. Thomas didn't want it to end.

As they cleared the table and washed the dishes, Joe became serious, "I want you kids to know that this is something that you'll have to keep a secret. The fact that you have two fathers, as it were. It's very important that nobody knows about Thomas and I."

"Why?" Frances' brow was knitted inquisitively.

"Because a lot of people don't like when two men are in love with each other, or when two women are in love with each other. They expect it only to happen between a man and a woman," Thomas answered.

"But why don't they like it?" Lewis looked a bit shocked.

"They have a lot of reasons, reasons that you don't know about yet," Joe hesitated, "I hate to put something so serious on your shoulders, but it's a fact of life. A lot of people don't like when two men are in love with each other and their reasons are often ridiculous, but it can be very dangerous for men like Thomas and I because people who don't like men like us **really** don't like us."

"How do you mean?" Frances asked.

"They at least make fun of us," Thomas replied, "Try to humiliate us in front of everybody else if they find out that we're gay. They can even be hostile… that is, they dislike us enough that they actually want to hurt us, or even kill us. I've been beaten myself. It's frightening."

"Kill you…!" gasped Lewis, "But why?"

"I don't know if they even know," Thomas replied, "But they think that they have a right to make life difficult for the likes of men and women like this."

"What if someone asks how you're part of the family?" Frances asked, wide-eyed.

"You can just tell them that he's your uncle," Joe answered quickly, "It's as simple as that."

"But what if we say something by mistake-?" Lewis was apprehensive.

"Shhh…" Joe and Thomas swept the distressed children into an embrace, "It's all right. All that you have to do is remember to tell them that Thomas is your uncle and leave it at that."  
"I'm so sorry that we gave you such a fright, poppets," Thomas crooned as he held Frances, "We just want to be sure that you understand."  
"You understand, don't you?" Joe inquired. Frances and Lewis nodded.  
"Good," Thomas added, "Now, your job is just to play with Sybbie, George, Sean, and Marigold. Just be children. Don't worry about your dad and I anymore."  
"Everything will be all right, my lovelies," Joe crooned, "As long as none of us talk about Thomas and I to anybody else outside Downton Abbey, as long as you just tell people "He's my uncle" when they ask about Thomas and just leave it at that, we'll be all right. I just want want you to play and have a good time today."

"We'll be all right?" Frances seemed calmer.  
"Of course, Cissy," Thomas fluffed her hair, "We're quite safe here at Downton."

By the time that the four of them reached Downton, Lewis and Frances had calmed down considerably and eagerly ran toward the entrance as they thought of the day with their friends in the nursery. Joe and Thomas couldn't help but laugh, delighted and relieved.

"You sure seem to be in a good mood today, Thomas," Sybil remarked as she played with Brigid, "I hope that I'm right."

"Indeed, you are correct, Mrs. Branson," Thomas smiled, looking for the entire world like he could fly.

Tom raised his eyes from his articles and Mary looked up from her newborn twins, Matthew and Elizabeth, "I certainly can see that, Thomas," she remarked.

Edith walked into the room, noticeably pregnant now, with Bertie behind her. "I couldn't help but overhear you, Sybil," Edith addressed her sister before she saw the nearly dreamlike happiness that seemed to make Thomas glow. Edith couldn't help smiling, "It's so seldom that I see you smile, Thomas. It suits you quite well."

"Well Thomas," Bertie asked playfully, "What's made you look like you've met God himself?"

"Bertie!" Edith giggled as she chided her husband, "If he wants to share, he'll share."  
"I know," Bertie chuckled.

"Now I'm curious, Thomas," Tom chimed in, "It's not often that I've seen you looking so happy. What's your secret?"

Sybil playfully swatted Tom on the thigh, "Oh darling, leave him be."

Thomas couldn't help it. "If I may, Mrs. Branson," he addressed Sybil, fairly confident that she wouldn't judge him.

"Of course, Thomas," Sybil answered, unsure of what he would say.  
Thomas whispered into her ear, "I'm in love with Mr. Anderson, and equally enchanted by his children!"

"I knew it!" Sybil smiled, looking as radiant as Thomas, "Congratulations, Thomas!"

"Thank you so much, Mrs. Branson!" Thomas smiled in return, feeling relief sweep through him.

"Congratulations?" Tom was perplexed.

"It's nothing of consequence," Sybil replied coolly, "It's just that Thomas has found happiness. He's had so much pain in his life and he's finally found joy."

Thomas blushed. After his suicide attempt, he felt fairly confident that his homosexuality was already the worst kept secret within Downton Abbey. Feeling giddy, he let his tongue slip for once.

"I've found love," he murmured.

"Thomas…?" Tom cocked an eyebrow, looking faintly amused.

"Is that so?" Mary remarked.

"Oh!" Thomas was surprised at himself, "It seems that I've said too much!"

"You haven't, Thomas," Sybil reassured.

"It's only just," Edith added, "You deserve some happiness after that dreadful incident!"

"Yes, I've heard about that," Bertie agreed, "Who's been so lucky to have ensnared you, Thomas?"

Thomas hesitated. He'd put his foot in his mouth this time. He was almost sure of that. Almost.

"M'Lady?" He turned to Sybil for support. She'd been his ally since Edward killed himself; she could tell how much that the blinded soldier meant to Thomas and had supported him ever since.

"Provided that nobody else under this roof speaks anything of it, out of respect for his privacy," Sybil began.

They all nodded in unison.

"I'm in love with the new chauffeur, Mr. Anderson," Thomas said as mildly as possible.

"With Anderson?" Tom was a bit surprised.

"Yes… that's correct," Thomas sighed.

Tom smiled, "I could never imagine you with a woman, Thomas."  
Thomas gaped at Tom, who only chuckled, "Thomas, I've known you for how long? Not once have you expressed much interest in a woman."

"You're not offended by this, Mr. Branson?" Thomas was still surprised.  
"Why should I be when you've been so wonderful to Sybil and the children?" Tom said insouciantly, "Besides, what you do is none of my business anyway. If he makes you happy, then go for it. It worked for me…!" Tom smiled fondly at Sybil, who blushed as Tom added, "I'd do it all over again for you, darling."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Mr. Branson," Sybil teased.  
"Well, I would, Sybil," Tom fawned.

"You're the one who saved me when I accidentally set fire to my bedroom, Thomas," Edith replied, "You've been wonderful with Marigold, I hardly think that I'm in any place to judge you, Thomas. Besides," she gave Bertie a watery smile as he squeezed her hand, "I've had my own misfortunes with love, and now I've found happiness after so many trials."

Bertie agreed with Tom, "It's none of my business, Thomas. If he's the one for you, don't hesitate. I know that I've fought with my mother quite a bit when she learned about Edith. Mother's always been too puritanical for my tastes."

"George loves you, Thomas," Mary's smile was warm, "You've been so good to him, you've been a major part of raising him. How you feel is not reason enough for me to take offense when you've shown him so much love."

Thomas couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was this a hallucination?

Sybil shifted her hold on Brigid to squeeze Thomas' hand, "It's your life, Thomas. You can't simply slip from one skin into another. I remember how hard that Edward's death was on you. You have a perfect right to be happy."

Thomas sighed heavily, the tension in his shoulders visibly leaving. "Thank you so much, Mrs. Branson! I thank all of you," he gave his employers a smile that he never thought himself capable of, "This is something that has caused a lot of suffering for me. I've tried to change, I've tried to deny this central fact about myself, and all that that did was make me want to die sooner… but Joseph Anderson…I love him like I've never loved anybody…! And his children are adorable…! It's like I've won a prize…!"

George bounded into the kitchen, eager to find Thomas. Amused as George hugged his leg, Thomas bent over to sweep George into his arms, "How's everything this fine day, young Master?" Thomas chirped.

"Lewis and Cissy said that you're spending more time with them," George answered with a slight drop to his smile, "But what about me? Is there something I've done?"

Thomas chose his words carefully, making a note to congratulate and warn Lewis and Frances on their action later, "I am spending more time with them, George," Thomas said earnestly, "But it's nothing that you've done. I love you and I love your cousins, it's just that things have changed a little bit for Cissy and Lewis."

"How?" George looked hurt and a bit annoyed.

Thomas was unsure how to proceed and prepared to speak when he saw Sybil walking toward them at a brisk pace with Mary close behind.

"George, why did you rush off like that?" Sybil looked slightly annoyed.

"Mother, Aunt Sybil, Lewis and Frances said that Thomas has been spending more time with them," George sighed. Thomas looked to Sybil for help. Thankfully, she noticed.

"Come, let's talk about this in a more private setting," Sybil ushered them into Carson's office with Mary closing the door behind them.

"George, darling, what's all the fuss about?" Mary knelt to meet her son eye-to-eye as he leapt from Thomas' arms.  
"Frances and Lewis said that Thomas has been spending more time with them."  
"And how does that make you feel?" Sybil asked.  
"Sad, angry…!" George's eyes were glassy, "Thomas, don't you like me anymore?"

Thomas knelt before George, "George, just because I'm spending more time with your friends that does not mean that I don't like you anymore. You're one of my best friends!"

"But why?" George looked bewildered.

"Because Lewis and Frances seem to have become Thomas' stepchildren," Sybil answered quickly.

"Stepchildren?" George's hurt expression gave way to confusion.

"Yes," Thomas said, "Thank you, M'Lady!" he said to Sybil, "Yes, George, I'm spending more time with them because I'm in love with their father, Mr. Anderson."

A look of understanding flashed across George's face, "Oh…! …But how does that work? I thought that they'd have a stepmother, not a stepfather."

"That's not always the case, darling," Mary stroked George's shoulders.

"Some men like other men and some women like other women," Thomas explained, wondering if he was making the right choice, "It's the most common for men to like women and women to like men, but it's not the only way of the world."

"Exactly," Sybil added, "It's similar with Uncle Tom and myself; your grandfather did not want me, a lady, to marry a chauffeur," George was surprised. Sybil laughed.  
"Yes, Uncle Tom was a chauffeur when I met him. But I liked him more than any of the men that grandfather and grandmother would have chosen for me to marry. If I had chosen somebody else, then Sybbie, Sean, and Brigid wouldn't be here."  
"It's life, George," Mary said, "Life doesn't always give us what we expect."

George turned toward Thomas and hugged him around the neck, "Promise that you'll have time for me."

"We were incredibly lucky," Thomas told Joe as they cuddled in bed that evening after the Cissy and Lewis had gone to bed, "I was expecting the end of the world to come!"

"At least they understand now that they shouldn't discuss it with anybody outside the walls of Downton," Joe nuzzled Thomas' neck, "But it could have gone so much worse."

They knew that there could be trouble as long as their children were still at that age when they did not filter what they said, but they agreed that they had been incredibly lucky in that they had found allies in the Crawley sisters and their husbands and children.

"And to think that the world goes berserk over what we have…!" Joe sighed as he hugged Thomas tighter and Thomas returned the gesture.

"I love you a ridiculous amount, you know," Thomas murmured into Joe's hair.

Joe smiled like a lunatic, "So I've heard. I love you too, my champion!"

"Come, darling," Thomas cooed, eagerly welcoming Joe's lips as they kissed.

Finis


End file.
